my first love

Once again I was abused by the hand of a man 

It was almost like he had a plan 

He was great in the beginning 

But the love started thinning 

He was a few years older 

And a lot colder 

He didn’t appreciate me 

He used me for sex to a degree 

His punches hurt 

But the fact that he used me made me feel like dirt 

The feeling of his hands never left 

The weight he left on my chest 

He wanted nothing more than sex 

But yet made the relationship so perplex 

The emotional abuse 

He must’ve had a screw loose

I wish I could say I left 

But he was a theft 

Who stole my heart 

And torn it apart 

I still love this man 

Who I deserve better than 

He ghosted me 

And left me to drown at sea 

I wish I had closure 

It would make my head cozier 

Im still angry 

To a strong degree