my first love

Its been a month since we last spoke 

I don't understand 

How did we come to this 

What happened to us 

How did we go from being so in love one day then complete strangers the next

I'm not going to lie, it hurts 

But what kills me is you didn't put up a fight to keep us together like you said time and time again you would 

It hurts like hell knowing you didn't care enough to fight for us 

I want to completely erase you from my memeory but I can't 

How can I let go of everything we've been through 

Every 'Good Morning' text 

Every 'I miss you'

Every 'I love you'

Did it mean anything to you 

Did I mean anything to you 

Or was I just some girl that you once messed around with 

Did you suddenly forget a whole year and a half of memories and plans we had made for the future, our future 

What happened to 'You're it for me and nothing is going to tear us apart' 

Questions after questions run through my mind ever since you left and I will never recieve the answers 

 Its like you changed into a completely different person in a span of days

You were already a stranger to me 

You weren't the person I had fell in love with 

The person I fell for wouldve done everything in his power to keep us together, he wouldve gone through hell and back for us 

But it was really me that was put through hell

I went back time after time refusing to let you go 

To let us go 

Giving us CPR constanly because I couldn't bare the thought of the death of our future 

But our future would never come anyways 

I wanted you to change so we could have the life we wanted but that was too much for you to do 

You wanted to spend our lives together but how is that possible when you don't know what you want 

But I don't regret anthing, our time together 

I loved you so much that I was willing to let you go so I could see you happy

I was willing to put myself through the pain of seeing you every day and not being able to go up to to hug you and tell you how much I love you 

You are my first love and you'll always have a place in my heart no matter how much you pain you caused me

You left a mark on my shattered heart and it will always be there no matter how much I want it to go away 

 But you pushed me passed my limit

You hurt me in ways i didn't know that you could, multiple times 

And that was looking back at me and telling me you loved me too 

I'm sure a part of you meant it, but only a part 

I said 'I'm done trying,' and your response was 'okay'

Little did I know you had already moved on to the next 

I don't know who you are anymore 

I can't believe I let you into my heart but what can I say 

I didn't want us to end like this, already strangers to each other 

I wanted us to end how we started, in love 

But sadly, we don't always get what we want in this life 

So this is it 

The ending of a love story that won't have a happy ending