My Friend An

So let me tell you about a friend I made freshmen year.

Her name was An

An wasn’t one of the friends that I would talk to everyday, let alone choose to befriend

She just kinda came into my life, ya know?

At first I wasn’t complaining cause you know, I’m a very welcoming person. HOWEVER An was very controlling

At times I would be living my best life, enjoying my other friends, succeeding in class then here she comes

Girl you know they don’t like you, you know they’re thinking you messing with so and so, you know you’re gonna fail this class I don’t know why you’re trying so hard

I try and tell her, dang can I be great? And she laughs

Ignoring her is never an option, she always seems to make her presence known.

She’ll be suffocating me days, even weeks at a time

To the point where I can’t do anything but stay in bed, afraid of the outside

I’m your only friend, you don’t need anyone else she says

And I believe her.

I believe her so much that I don’t even go to school, I don’t even go to work, I can’t even maintain my social media accounts, because she has all my attention.

Don’t you like it like this? I care about you.

But An, I can’t keep doing this.

I can never sleep alone, she’s always there to “cuddle”

I can never walk alone, she gets jealous and starts telling me the worst that can happen.

I can barely share this story with you because it’s too “exposing”

Look An, I try to say. This is my life, you cannot control me.

But we’re friends

Friends? Friends. You’re ri-- Wait no. We are not friends.

My friends wouldn’t be controlling. My friends wouldn’t try to degrade me.

You’re not my friend. You’re toxic.

I try and walk away, but she pushes me back down.

To the point where I feel like I actually need her.

To the point where nobody exists but us.

All I need in this life of sin, is me and my friend An.

I try to think about the good she’s caused me, what she’s done for me

And there’s nothing.

All I’ve gotten was heartache from failed relationships.

How am I supposed to explain to someone that I have an overprotective friend that doesn’t like me around anyone and wants me all to herself?

That seems like a relationship in its own.

You have me, you don’t need anyone else.

At this point of my life, I’ve had enough. An you have to go.

How are you gonna leave me? You have no one, everyone you had left. She said hysterically.

This is where I draw the line.

Listen An, you cannot control me anymore. I’ve had you bother me long enough. I’ve had you around for too long. It’s time we part.

No, don’t say that I love y--

No you don’t.

We’re not friends. We’re not associates. Hell, you’re not even real!

Thanks for the journey, Anxiety. I’ve had enough.

• Signed, your worst nightmare.