My Gold

I had a smile to give you but I hesitated

I waited until you looked away and then all the sudden my smile snuck out of the back door of my mind and then there was nothing

I waited

And now I feel nothing

I miss your stares and coded smiles

Wishing I could jump out and hold your warmth

And breathing a sense of home

But stopping to avoid the collateral damage of overthinking

And ultimately leaving, missing you even more

You do not know your worth like i do

And you do not notice my feelings

But your touch tells me there is more here than they can see

There is more weight in this unspoken love

Than I am prepared for

Spontaneity is what broke the silence and now I stay

Waiting to see what has been but has not flipped

Into the depths of where I should’ve been all along

I was afraid to ask, to show you my worth

Because it had never mattered before

And I told myself there was more

But i luv nothing more that gold

I apologize for the wait but I know it is better this way

You convinced my there is so much more and

Will never be taken for granted again,

Not while you are here with me

I wanted to leave

I always do but the gold keeps me here

The flakes left behind of what others cannot see is what I notice all day

Among of of this small, there is something more

There is good, this is gold