My Homie

I realized that when I turned 18

I was an adult under the law

But

My parents said

“You’ve been an adult since you were 11”

I didn’t get to wait for adulthood. It happened to me.

It happened when kids would say n-word around me.

It happened when my oldest brother got picked out for being black.

It happened when I was a woman.

It happened when I was black.

It happened.

It happened my brother got into a car accident.

And I can do nothing to get back the time that was stolen from me.

That’s when I knew I was grown.

I can’t take back seeing the cracked skull of my brother in the hospital.

What I can take is my time.

What I can do is live now.

I can only control me. And I need nothing from expectations.

Joy dies in the hands of unmet expectations.

So now I only expect to live. And I will. Because I am in my own hands.

But in the lowest moments the greatest change happens.

I found a friend I'll have for the rest of my life.

Life-long partnership.

My homie.

Me.