My Inspiration

Her. 

A mother. 

A daughter. 

A friend. 

A lover. 

A believer. 

A fighter. 

A person of faith. 

A kind gentle soul.

Who is she? Who is the woman who I speak of?

She’s my mom.

My rock.

My friend.

My protector. 

My voice of reason. 

She is so many things that I aspire to become. 

Out of all the people who encompass this Earth, she is the only flame that shows a spark more vibrant than all the stars in the sky, strong like the waves of a roaring sea, and enchanting like a full moon on a clear night. 

She was a stranger before she became my friend, and was a wife before she became a mother. 

All that became before her didn’t define her, it made her who she is today. 

Coming from the projects, with nothing much but her two older brothers, and a mother who worked two jobs, she had no other choice but to grow up fast. 

Being so young and having the world on her shoulders was something she didn’t fight, she let it take its course. Let it be that both her brother joined the service, a man whom she didn’t want to know disappeared in a heap of smoke, her mother moving away on her graduation day, left alone in her small town with no place to call home, she carried each burden on her with pride. 

She wasn’t bowing down to her demons, they would be the ones to bow down. 

And so she pushed forward, to a new city, a new job, a new school, a new life that awaited her. 

Of course, with all the bad times, she had her moments where she was free. Free from anger, pain, worry, loneliness, and sadness. Those were the times she would keep locked away in her heart, a heart so big they carried secrets and memories that not even I know of. 

As she got her education and built herself from the ground up, she would finally have something she had only dreamed of as a child. 

A home. 

Her home. 

Her home would be her sanctuary to return to, and would eventually be the place where I call home. 

Her home would be her sanctuary to return to, and would eventually be the place where I call home. 

In the midst of a moment, she would encounter a handsome stranger with a spark in his eyes that revealed a flame that burned as bright as hers. They had found each other in a small corner of the world, both looking for something they didn’t know was missing. And in their love for eachother, she made the two greatest things she called hers. Me and my brother. 

This life wasn’t her ideal fantasy, but she was more than happy to have created such beautiful things.
As the years carried on, she had carried on more than she would expect. She became a slave to her work, endlessly trying to support the kingdom she had built. 

It wasn’t enough. 

Her eyes were beginning to lose their flame. Black and white was all she could see, as her children began to grow up in a world that felt so far away from her. Knowing who she was would be a mystery to me for many years. 

Until she took one breath 

One breath

One breath was all it took for her flame to burn out and vanish into a chilling air. 

An air that was colder than the dead, it rekindled the flame that would burn brighter than it ever had before. 

With her mother slipping from her hands in a matter of days and her husband’s words leaving cuts of her bare skin. If time could stop for her to let her pain consum her, she’d probably never let time start again.

Her heart was heavy with grief and sorrow. Her husband, who she loved deeply, asked to be seperated from her a couple of months before hand.Out of all the times that she needed him, he wasn’t there to help her cope with the loss of her mother. It was a hard pill to swallow.

However, it wasn’t until then that my mother and I had really spent so much time together.

We were one in the same, dealing with the same pain that came in two different directions. 

It was there that I had begun to build our bond, a bond that I had yearned for for many years. If it wasn’t for the loss of my grandmother, I wouldn’t be able to get to know such an amazing woman.

An amazing woman who picked herself up, and continued on for the sake of her kids and herself. 

She inspires me to continue to walk upon my own path, and carve a new one that she wished she had traveled on before. To reach as high as I can for the stars, and to know that no matter how far away I am she will be my northern star to look up to when she is gone.

My hope is that when I look in the mirror, I am reminded of the one person who has brought me to this Earth, and what type of women I wish to become.