My Jewel

I haven't wrote down my feelings in a long time but every time i did somehow what my mind and never could say came out on paper. I can talk to my closest friend and everything will come out but soon as i hear the phone ringing from you i automatically forget everything that i wanted to say at that moment. Maybe its because I'm scared but then i ask myself what am i scared of when all she's going to do is listen and understand better than anyone else can. Anyone else that i pour my heart out to will say simple things such as "awwn, I'm so sorry your going through this", or ask me if i want a hug. In  my mind i want to hit them in the face because thats not the response i want but i still never find the urge to not give into what they say. To believe that they care about me. The response I'm searching for from them is what you've always given me. LOVE. But what do i do when the reason I'm upset is about you? Do i still run to you for love when your longing for it to? Do i run to you for love when it's not just about me but about you too? A question I'll never find the answer to but the answer i think I've found is not true. Looking for a response from someone that couldn't care less about how i feel compared to the response i get from someone who cherishes my every breath. Afraid? Fear of what!? Fear of Love? Not fera of love just fear of whats bottled up inside. Keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself for what? To end up dying without no one ever knowing the truth of my soul. It's like she's trying to crack my chest open with the tears she cries just longing for them to seep into my soul and my love dry her eyes. Keeping my thoughts and feelings inside to end up murdering my flesh from inside out. My words soon will wither away without a trace. In the end it's not just about me. It's about us. It's about love. It's about her eyes full of pain managing to connect with mines and creating something that once was hurting into a new. It's about her hands being my missing puzzle piece. It's about my footsteps following hers and hers following mines and in the end, side by side we walk. It's about her tears of the past not being able to fall anymore because i'll be able to catch them. It's about holding each other in the moonlight, feeling heartbeats, the "I Love You's". My flesh being her flesh. My rhythm being her rhythm. My bone being her bone. My story being her story and her being mines to create chapter after chapter of our life together. It's the love that will make me pray to God and ask "who am i that you would bless me with such a queen? He has chosen me to be entrusted with her heart, that i will cherish it like a jeweler cherishes jewels because she is "MY JEWEL".