My last goodbye...

Life asked Death a question

“Why does everyone love me but hate you? 

Death responded 

“Why, you are a beautiful life, while I am the painful truth” 

Well this is my truth. 

You see me and you don’t see what I have gone through

Abused 

Beating 

Molested by my own thoughts 

Yet I can’t shove them away with a smile 

I force them away to my already blacked mind 

Burning a bigger hole to a endless abyss. 

I have wrote this down so many times 

I have cried this cry so many times 

I have fought this loosing battle so many times but it constantly haunts me. 

It mocks me even deeper than any of my middle school peers 

It hunts me even deep than my irrational fear of heights

It beats me even harder than my own perfectionist mind. 

Do I write it down in my will? 

Do I let it be told as my testament or do I let it die with me as I swing from the nearest post. 

Letting my silence speak for itself. 

Life wasn’t wrong when he asked Death that question. 

I choose death over life anyway even tho I had people smiling, laughing in all different directions 

Death wasn’t lying when he mentioned how he was a painful truth. 

No one sees you alive and walking but when you are stiff as a board and lighter than leather they view you in all your glory. 

Am I talking about dying by flesh?

Am I talking about dying by me?

Ha, the help that I called for must have been to hard for anyone to see. 

My last goodbye stands within this poem. 

It stands within these words...it’s stands within my silence.