I had depression.

I thought diagnosing myself

With depression was

My way of pitying myself

And that always disgusted me

 

So I put on a mask

A mask with time lord technology

A mask small enough to fit my face

But big enough to hide

All the tears and the sadness

That my body held

 

I made up solutions

Solutions to solve every bad thing I felt

And kept it all bottled

Up inside my left kidney

( always felt the right was bigger

And it’d be safer

To use that for it’s

Intended bodily functions)

 

I hated myself because

I had depression.

I’d listen to songs and poems

About other’s problems

And their fight with depression

And I’d say

“Yes! That’s totally me!”

But later

 

Convince myself otherwise

That I was trying to

Put myself in their shoes

Feel the way they feel

Because that’s how everyone feels right now

And that way

My “bad day”

Would be justified

 

I hate myself because

I have depression

I don’t know who to tell

But I don’t really want to tell

Anybody because I’m sure

They won’t take me seriously

My mom says teenagers

Can’t get depression,

It’s just their hormones

Acting up

I don’t really believe her

But I feel like I should

So I do anyway

 

I hate myself because

I have depression.

I’ve made up excuses for

The symptoms I’ve found.

Not that I really trust

The symptoms I’ve found

I looked them up

On WebMD

 

See my disinterest in things

I usually love

Isn’t really a disinterest

I just love so many things

I can’t seem to pick

Just one

 

And my feelings of worthlessness

Aren’t really

Feelings of worthlessness

They’re just the frustration

I have with not having anything to do

Boredom.

 

Well sure

I often go from an

Extreme high

To an

Extreme low

In the blink of an eye

For no apparent reason     

But doesn’t everybody?

No?

Okay hormones.

 

And yes I have frequent migraines

But my dad has chronic migraine

It’s genetic.

 

Yes, my whole body often feels

Sluggish, lethargic, and heavy

But so my mom complains about that

All the time

It’s genetic

 

 

And yes everyone often pisses me off

And I have feelings of wanting to stab

All of them in the esophagus

But all my grandparents are easily irritated

It has to be genetic

 

It’s not really fatigue

I just really love sleeping

That’s why I’m always tired

I sleep in late,

So I stay up late,

Thus causing me to sleep late,

Thanks tumblr.

 

And finally,

Yes my love for myself is

Non apparent

And self esteem is

Null and void

But we all do

I’m a teenager

Hormones.

 

Besides

I got all the symptoms

Off of WebMD

And according to them

It was either

Depression or Cancer.