My Lovely Pillager

I've ransacked many villages And ravaged women there. I took ten lives each pillage And did so without a care... I have never met my equal; Not in strength, and not in mind. If I had then this dark evil, With a friend, I may could fight To the death or maybe farther, Where the dainty daisies grow. It was there my soul, made martyr, Did a spiritual death know... I have often found good reasons For the way things often are. Been accused of many treasons, Though the answers lie afar... I've found joy in others' sorrow, I've found hatred in their love. I've no hope for each tomorrow- This I wish I knew not of... I once wished that I could love, But found out that I could not; For I'd pray to God above, But it seemed that he forgot... Though He didn't and I know it, I gave up and I gave in. Such a love I couldn't show it, For I lived in mortal sin... With the thought of such rejection, Though I brought it on myself, I found Death in my complexion With the looking glass's help... In my solitude I hated, And I plundered with a thirst. For a sign my heart had waited, But things turned out for the worst... Then a man who claimed to know me With the world at his command; Had a friendly thing to show me As he opened up his hand... I saw a little monster there- This monster seemed to be So familiar that I lost despair- This monster, it was me... I then beheld a helpless child Who cared not for his life. Within his eyes a hatred, wild, And years of pain and strife... I remembered how afraid I'd been- The twisting felt inside. The lectures on my many sins, The fear I could not hide... I found myself forgetting Everything I once held dear. With each thump my heart was letting All the pain just reappear... Was I such a worthless dreamer? Had I nothing I could give? Where is my renowned redeemer? Dammit, I don't want to live! So here I sit beneath this tree, Which holds a small surprise for me. A limb, whose strength will overcome My life, and as my soul goes numb The strife will all be over soon. And well beneath God's waning moon They'll watch, and thank the Lord their God, That on their ground I'll no more trod, Or roam among their village streets With only bad intentions. Or so they thought, and fought for treats, For hell was my dimension... I watch the little children play And dance, for life is good. They do not know that here I lay Within these lonely woods... Right now I am about to do What many men have tried. I'll rid them of myself, it's true, Myself, I cannot hide... What became of them without me? For their sakes I hope the best. As for me, I hang here meekly, In a blissful state of rest...