My mind is so controlled

My mind is so controlled I try to take it one way but yet it goes in the other direction I can’t seem to think as far as I can throw But when I do think incapably My mind explodes and inconnectively put the pieces back together slowly So many indeceptable thoughts and feelings running with no destination Causing my body to function as if the world paused and fast-forwarded in slow motion! Seems my life is not on track therefore I can’t run it I think for the worst that way maybe ill receive the best But when my mind goes blank and blacks out Seems everything and everyone goes away Only my life would be this way Why? That’s a good question I do as said As if I’m remotely controlled My thoughts go up as wishes But yet the stars never fall My heart beats on its own But yet my brain needs me to tell it when to think My thoughts and feeling deceive each other Which brings my contous to go opposite I want to go with my heart but instead I follow my brain Taking me place higher then heights But lower the faults