my name

I go by many names

Depending on who calls me.

They call me madam secretary, kaif, keith, Nazarene, anak, ate

That one girl with that long ass last name

The b word, the w word, the abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz word

Etcetera, etcetera

I try my best to be at the top

Without leaving anyone behind

They say grades are just a number

But I swear it feels more than that

Im short

Yet many look up to me

Many depend on me

My brother, sister, motherfatherunclecousinsfriends

and

Throughout my life,

Ive suffered small and large I guess

I didn’t starve, I had a roof

But my biggest regret

Is my inability to say no

To speak out

To reach out

Even a child can say it but I cant

Even when I needed to

Whats the point of me helping others when I can’t help myself?

Who can listen? how can I escape this labyrinth?

Who am i?

Maybe, im just like you

And you like me

Can you help me too?

I swear my life is as disorganized as this poem

But unlike this poem, my life wont end soon

I can grow, in fact

I will grow.

How can I escape? I probably cant

Yet the answer is in me

I am madam secretary, kaif, keith, Nazarene, anak, ate

That one girl with that long ass last name

The b word, the w word, the abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz word

Etcetera, etcetera

I cant change that

Or my past decisions

Or my name at all

No matter how much of a burden my names can be

I shall embrace it

My name is kaith