To my nightly lover

To my nightly lover:

You are just a phase I grow out of in the morning

and the excuse i come crawling back to at night

I never needed a reason to dream

but I also never had you

you are the rush of adrenaline

this numb little girl's needs

i drive myself insane with what ifs and why nots

but none seem to fill the void

that the fantasy of having you by my side leaves

none compare to the way I dream of your hands in mine.

and your unfiltered laugh that comes from the very depths of your soul

the eyes that have came across me so many times

that will change someday soon

and see me in a new light

but i awaken from the fantasy

to live in a nightmare of never being able to have you,

unable to hold you close to my heart

where it only beats so quickly for you

the sun erases the seductive shadows of our souls

that are intertwined by the moonlight

And I say never again will I waste my time loving you

that it is just the residue of old feelings

like the last few fading coughs from someone who is healing

a routine I have yet to forget

but once the first star shines through

I’m casted under your spell

I’m memorized by your memory

it takes all my power to resist you

and the cycle continues

but the warm sensation of your hands no longer last

i can hear your laugh less and less

as if it is an echo coming from our distance

and your eyes no longer look my way

There are nights where you are nowhere to be found

and where your name tastes bitter on my tongue

the moonlight no longer shines through

and my love for you becomes the secret I will forget

Soon, my nightly lover, you will be no more

Solely a dream I once had