My Own Disorder

I was born innocent , Failing to be obedient, Playing during the day And haunting during the night Screaming so loud and repeatedly like a bird. Years grew up and i was reverential. Happiness was shining in my eyes. AND NOW........... EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED! Mother you've been protecting me, You taught me how to fight, Not only to fight but to defeat. You've been working your fingers To the bone . You assured that you protect my pureness. You gave me love, And that love gave me hope for the future I am a big girl. I stand and resist evil. I'm like a soldier in the army I was born to defeat NOT TO BE DEFEATED!!!! But today I stand here Drowning in a river of tears and pains, I was defeated by this illness! This disorder! Oh! I mean MY OWN DISORDER! This illness is now living in me Not only in me, But it runs through my veins. It runs in every direction. Ive had enough because Now it has taken over Emotionally and physically. MY OWN DISORDER ? do you really belong in me? I see how you stopped my body From functioning well No...you've done it all, You are my own disorder , Live as you can! But one day I'll treat you And you'll vanish Just like the sun at dew. You'll be gone forever And I'll be left smiling permanently.