my own stranger

What have I become What have I turned to As lam looking through the mirror I'm struggling to recognize The person looking at me I'm exactly what I never wanted to be I go to church every sunday And sleep in different beds on weekdays I have no degree nor diploma But I have been in cars that are proper I'm unemployed but I wait for month end with boiling eyes to receive from private jobs That leave my legs shaking And my inside burning. I'm not proud Idont even remember how or when I ended up this way I used to be grateful for the little I got I appreciated what ever I had But they came and promised me more Promised the good life No dull days but bright days Money makes the world go round Money makes the legs go wide Money beautifiers the outlook And dirtifies the inside. Lust and ignorance made me this Self control self discipline was up sent Sober minded I did it Different sizes I have seen them I'm tired of repenting Cause I keep on repeating The same things That leave me pleading And bleeding I'm suppose to be changing And be good but I'm failing I'm a stranger in my own eyes So cold and solid like ice Will I melt and move freely Idont know who lam My goals an vision have faded My path has been darkened By my own dark doings What I do in the darkness will Be seen in the light :-(