My Oyster

The world is my dying oyster.

And I am the sand

That failed to become a pearl.

My mind is filled with darkness

That traps me

Envelops me

Crushes me.

My mind races with how many times

I've let you down

Or the quiet of my empty thoughts

And the silence that they create that

Becomes violent.

As I count the tears

That stream down my face

1... 2... 3... 4...

The tears build up

And they're breaking me down.

My mind is a dam

But it's breaking

I try to keep it together

But sometimes

I have to let it crumble.

Because if I keep up

My wall for too long

I become someone that

I don't recognize.

As I stand in the rubble

Of my hopes and dreams

My fears creep closer

Attacking me

Telling me lies

That I want to believe.

Because in this darkness

That is my mind

I don't know what to believe.

Not anymore.

I've lost sight of the light.

I lose grasp of my hopes

As they crumble around me

Turning to dust.

But what am I?

I'm nothing

But a grain of sand

In this huge, dark ocean

That has failed to become a pearl.