My Plea

I’m gonna start this thing off with 3 words

And those 3 words are going to mean something

Beautiful

These words I’ve been trying to get off my chest lately

But society has blinded the wretch once again

I flee behind the curtain of dependency

I need help

Just hear me out on this

Ever since elementary school when reality first struck me with its iron fists

I fell into a pit

It was shallow but dark

And without knowing I started digging into the dirt

Long story short

The pit is too deep now

And my hands are so dirty

So dirty

For those that don’t know

Hands weren’t meant for digging

I was given a gift

These hands were meant to do something

Beautiful

Instead I have them tied up in strings

As long as the tightropes I walk across in this circus of sadness

Controlled by the same puppet master that control some of you in this very room

I speak for you

And I know how it is for you

It’s hard to overcome something so monstrous

Yet so human

It’s difficult

Staring at myself in the mirror everyday

Contemplating conflicting contradictions

Constant negative thoughts keep me up at night

There is no light in my dreams

There’s always a cloud above my head

The cup is not half full

And don’t you tell me that words don’t hurt more than sticks and stones and broken bones

Because the word stupid can mean that you’re not smart

And you not being smart can be the cause of a choice

Life or death

I need help

Is life worth it?

He asks me

I’m the only one that understands you

He tells me

And he’ll be quick to let happiness pass right by me

My thoughts are his thoughts

My actions are influenced by his existence

I am in jail but the bars are invisible

I keep my feelings on the inside because it’s the safest place to hide

Isn’t it sad when you get hurt so much

You can finally say

I’m used to it

You expect everything to be fine

But let me reassure you

My life is far from bliss

It’s a mess

And as I continue down my empty path as a dead man walking

I reflect upon the bad days

Because the good days…

Well

Let’s just say I haven’t seen a good day in a very long time

Monster

I am addressing you now

I remember when I first met you

You seemed to know me so well

But I was so young and so naïve

Which also made me vulnerable I’ll admit

I was in 4^th grade

Do you remember that?

I just finished my daily intake of verbal beatings after recess

Started to become frustrated at the fact that I didn’t fit in

Then you popped the question

Is life worth it?

That question stuck with me for 7 freaking years!

So now

It’s time for you to go

I said it’s time for you to go

I’ve had enough of your fiendish tricks

I’m tired of your emotional beat downs

You cannot have me

I’m getting rid of all your negativity

But we both know it’s not that easy

Which is why I called for reinforcements

I need help