My Savior

Sun, 03/06/2016 - 05:27 -- Joeyjo

You told me you loved me, and I believed you.

You told me I was beautiful, and I believed you.You told me you'd do anything for me, and I believed you.Then, you told me I was difficult, and I believed you.You told me I was stupid, and I believed you.You told me I was lucky to find such a good guy like you billions of assholes in the world, 761,680,591 minus one. And I believed you.My friends and family told me you were wrong and still I chose to believe you. But one day, you said they were wrong. You told me I was stupid for picking their side. You asked me how could I let other people control my life. How could I let them chose my life for me. How could I have betrayed my savior in that way. You, the boy who took a beautiful, hopeful, ambitious girl and turned her into a monster. You, my savior. My god reincarnated. How could I have chosen my family over you? How could I have accused you of leaving bruises on my arm when we were only playing a game where I got to hit you as well. Of course, I never left you any bruises. How could I accuse you of forcing me into sex, when I never said no. Even when the tears threatened to spill from my eyes, I still said no. Because I believed in you. I thought if I gave you everything you asked for, in return I would have your love and your protection. Little did I know that love and protection meant lust and possessiveness. Oh but you made me so happy. My prince, my king, you made me feel so loved, but not on Valentine's Day when you yelled at me for looking at some stranger. But not when you choked me and held me down while I was blubbering my apologies and begging for your forgiveness, on the day you caught me talking to another guy about sex. Not when you said you loved me, but got half naked with another girl, or completely naked with your ex. Of course, i hurt you too when I admitted to finding someone else attractive, so it cancelled out your wrongs. When I told I felt alone, when I told you I was unhappy, you said it was my fault. When we fought on Halloween, even after you left and I ran out looking for you, you said it was my fault. When you slapped me across the face for the first time and I tried to walk out, you got angry and told me to leave if I wanted but no one would love me the same way you did. when I came back you said it was my fault. When you said, after 6 months you still couldn't trust me because of what I had done. I believed you. When you told me you loved me 4 months later, I believed you. The very last time you said, it was my fault, I didn't. 

This poem is about: 
Me

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