My Smile Is Fading

My smile is fading.

Once filled with a child- like fullness

Glaring

Manifested with happiness

Now it strains to find the once whole nature of its dimensions

My smile is fading

Driven away from the constant attacks against my name, my face, my skin, my color

All connected

My smile is fading

Stomped out by the burden of explaining and tolerating the racist attacks from white bodies

My smile is fading

When the Reedies ran naked through our campus

And girl said to me “Christen you’re Black why don’t you join in?”

When baby came up to me raising his voice saying “What’s happening dawg?” in a way that sounded awkward on his tongue

And he went to his friends and spoke in a inside voice “Hi everyone”

When she assumptively said, “What song by Tupac do you like the most?”

When Michael Brown is shot dead

And my professor comes in the next day giving false facts

When I hear my brothas and sistas labeled as scary by students

Just cause they can’t fake a smile as well as I can

When they cross the street once I walk down it

When I have to be the nice one

When I can’t be the nice one

And when child said “Christen you’re always dancing”

When sometimes I sit tearing up in my seat

Asking god why he is putting me through this

I can’t and I won’t and I don’t want it to erase but my smile is fading

Because of one thing and one thing only

A racist regime that manifests itself everywhere

And though I try to keep my cheeks tight,

my laughter light,

my eyes bright

I feel my candle flame becoming more and more feeble

My smile is fading

Because of you.