My soul is thin

I hate myself for being FAT!!! I want to stab myself in the stomach repeatedly! My Soul is trim as is my heart It's just that Mother nature defeated me. I'm honest kind and caring My integrity is intact You'll be hard pushed to find a more loving man But hurtful words about me have an impact. If I could slice away at my flesh If I could only melt away all my fat I'd gladly take in my hand a hot knife And keep on slicing til my stomach was flat. I feel ashamed cos it's my worst self hate When people tell me to seek a personal trainer They don't know it and I know they mean well But I feel like crying, like I'm a failure... I'm not one for gyms or fashionable trends I would rather go visit Mother nature Climb to the top of the toppest of hills Find myself, not listen to some lecture. I want to cry right now in all honesty I feel so fucking unattractive If I take down all the mirrors that might help Don't know how I'm fat cos I'm always active...? When someone you care so much for Kill you without even knowing Kind words with good intentions? Mean very little if my shame's still growing. All I want is to be happy again I want to be seen for the man that I am My carcass will not carry on when I pass But my soul will still be the same man. So what if I'm not up to society's specification? I thought you should be liked for who you are? I know I'm not perfect like I'd like to be That's why on my heart there's a scar.