My Stained Smile

No, that's not good enough

That can't be me

Am I a joke?

I've covered behind perfect lighting, long-lasting makeup, and hairspray

Snap, snap, snap, (it takes a few tries but I get there)

That will do.

My reflection stares back and laughs

Say goodbye to the seemingly soft skin

My hair goes flat

and my smile is stained.

This is not me, not who I want to be.

I'm stripped, and can finally breathe again

I am bland with no gleam

Yet I feel so free.

One day, maybe I'll let them see me for me...

They say natural is the best, but I know this is not my best.

Why do I need camoflauge just so I look ok?

When others surpass me, and I'm no match either way

Yet I break the mirror and it's expectations

I am not grey, no I am silver

My flaws may sting, but with time they heal

and then they are not flaws just features.

Leave me be, and if judgement comes let it kneel

so I may look down with that stained smile

For I am imperfect, still trying to accept, but may my heart be the beauty

Not phone screens I hide behind.