To My Step-Father

Dear Brad,

I just wanted to thank you…

thank you for being my step-dad, my guardian, and my protector.

These are words I wish I could say to you.

But this isn’t a thank you letter.

I wish I could hear that your proud of me.

I wish you cared.

I wish you didn’t hit me.

But most of all I wish you understood.

I wish you understood how much you hurt me.

Not just physically, but mentally.

Because of you I believe that I’m not good enough,

And that everything I do is wrong.

Because of you I hide my emotions,

Because to you being emotional is being weak.

Because of you I believe I’m not good enough to be here.

I think this because I am weak,

I am fraile,

I am small,

And I am broken.

But once you left

I became strong

I now believe that I am good enough to keep going

And I believe that I am not worthless

So I guess this is a thank you letter

Thank you for breaking me.

Thank you for making me feel like garbage.  

But most of all thank you for making me realize my worth.