My sweater

Location

I have this sweater

that I hang on the wall

it is not to clothed me

but to remind me

of something I’d hope to achieve

if I didn’t give up trying.

 

This is a NYU sweater

the sweater of my dream school

I’ve always wanted to go there

Alas, I never applied there

I was always afraid

that I wasn’t good enough.

 

My counselor gave me a list

of schools that she picked

I applied to these schools

although I had no interest in

I blindly followed

what my counselor said.

 

Getting accepted to these schools

was not what I’d expected

it brought out bigger questions

the questions of “what if”

what if I applied to NYU?

what if I was accepted?

 

Living 13 miles from the Village*

I travelled down every week

my favorite cafes were there

I even visited NYU several times

The more I visited, the more I fell in love

Why do I always want things that I cannot have?

 

That feeling of never knowing

outweighed my chance of rejection

it made me realize that it’s worth a try

so I made my decision to transfer

If I did well academically, I’d have a fair shot

after all, a good GPA is usually a deal-breaker.

 

Sacrifices had to be made

No Xbox, no video games

textbooks and online tutorials came to my aid

and then came my finals

months of hard work and studying

I believed I was prepared.

 

Now you’ll be expecting

that this story has a happy ending

but no, I screwed up during finals

and now my GPA’s below a 3

my dreams of transferring, gone down the drain.

 

I’ve no one to blame but myself

I could use the excuse of being a foreign student

far from home, struggling with the culture shock

or I could explain the call I received, a week before my finals

the night I found out, that my mom has cancer

but that doesn’t solve anything- my GPA remains the same.

 

My story ends there, just like that

don’t expect a moral or a lesson learned

‘cos that’s just life

twisted and unexpected, like a double edge-blade

allowing us to dream the impossible

but killing it when reality sets in.



 

* the Village is more commonly referred as Greenwich Village, a neighborhood in New York City. It is also the neighborhood to New York University (NYU).

 

Comments

Additional Resources

Get AI Feedback on your poem

Interested in feedback on your poem? Try our AI Feedback tool.
 

 

If You Need Support

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741