My Umbrella

For everyone, life is a constant storm.

There are those that make it through just fine,

And there are those drowning in the constant downpour.

I like to think that I’m one of the strong and brave,

And that I have a sturdy umbrella shielding me at all times.

But my umbrella and I don’t always get along. 

All too often, it tears or bends back in the wind,

Leaving me alone once again. 

Lightning strikes inside my head,

Constantly reminding me that I’m not good enough,

Or that I’m not pretty,

Or that I’m not loved or trusted. 

Though, on those rare days that my umbrella stays intact,

Weathering the storm with me,

It hides me from the negativity, the sadness, the hurt. 

These days are the best. 

It’s still not sunny, but at least I’m dry.

Every day, I try harder and harder to keep myself together.

And my umbrella gets stronger with me. 

I hope to reach the sunny days, and leave this darkness

Far behind.

I’ll get there one day; I know it.

But for now I’ll continue to paint on a smile and make it through,

Pretending that I’m happy while

Basking in my rain storm.