My Wish

My wish, my wish, my wish…. No wait! It’s more like my wishes. Yes my wishes. I say these words everyday without a fail. I’ll always be saying “I wish I had new shoes”, “I wish I could this”, or “If only I had this I would be a happier person.” When people ask me “If you had one wish what would it be?” my answer… “I wish I had more wishes so I could have everything I want!” but now I’ve really thought about what I want. All I want now is to go back to that day. September 10, 2011. The day you took your last breath and left us. I would love to go back and tell you “ I love you! With all of my heart.!” And no matter what happens, you’ll always be here with me.” I go back to that day and remember my brother say “He’s not going to survive much longer.” My eyes filled with tears as I said “Take me to see him I need to tell him something.” As night grew darker he tells me he cannot take me. But in my mind I thought “I’m sure I’ll be able to tell him tomorrow.” But I couldn’t be more wrong. To my surprise that same night my mom tells me we have to go his time came. God wanted him to go now. No more suffering. I remember being shocked but not to the point where I couldn’t speak or react. I looked perfectly normal. If you saw me I bet you wouldn’t have thought anything was wrong. The moment I saw my aunt crying was the second my emotions came out. I felt fear, anger, strength and sadness. My emotions were so mixed that at that moment I was confused. Memories never fade. I know they will always stay in my heart. Like that those times you would say all shocked, “flakita, who cut your hair?!” or my all time favorite! “Hey lets watch a scary movie!” and during the middle you would just walk off and come back “pretending to be possessed” or when you would tell us scary stories at night about the famous “one eyed girl” But memories will just be memories. It’s not like we can have more now at this point. So ill just keep you mind everyday and every once in awhile I’’ sing to you my favorite Plain White T’s song. Making a specific quote to you “And do they have radios in heaven, I hope they do cuz they’re playing my song on the radio, and I’m singing it to you!” Even though it seems like forvever that you’ve been gone. It’s been 7 months. Yet it still feels like yesterday you were doing my hair for that special occasion.