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Myself destruction


“Let's see how long it takes till you come back.”

Those were your last word to me as I moved out,

as I went back and forth one box at a time.

Alone

 

Am I that much of a fuck up?

Am I so useless that you don't see a future for me?

For so long you tried to break me,

to make me dependent on you.

 

You tore me down every chance you had,

you made me hate myself.

Saying don't expect any roles because of how I look.

To not expect to get a degree because of my learning disability.

 

As if that is what's important to my success,

that my talent is a minor factor to my GPA.

That I’m fated to waste my degree as YOU did,

I am anything but you.

 

Yes, I cry so much easier than you, but that doesn't make me weak.

I am fat but that doesn't mean I'm ugly.

My mind isn't made the same as everyone else, but that doesn't mean I'm useless.

I am so much more

 

All my life you let your son break me mentally,

“That's how brothers are” my ass.

You preach that words hold no power but they do.

They destroyed me

 
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If you or someone you know is struggling, you are not alone.

988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, 24/7. Crisis Text Line — text HELLO to 741741.

Courtney Kay

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