For N

my hands like to shake but they still near you,

stop all motion, become steady,  confident,

touch your skin and lips and skin

memorize the marks on your cheeks.

my chest is awkward and burning

usually- but with you it is cool liquid ocean

spring breeze against my rib cage

birds wing fluttering aginst my insides.

I cried your last day here,

felt my fingers begin to quiver

my lungs begin to ache

everything old coming back new and stronger.

but because I love you

I will not collapse in on myself.

because I love you

my eyes will remain open and bright and trusting.

because I love you

I'll never be more than a phone call away.

I will travel hours to get to you

to touch you.

because you're leaving

I can never say how much I love you.

and because I love you

I will never leave.