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Nagasaki - Pantoum

by treelessmountain

When the morning arises and the city blooms a flower

Rooted deep in the heart of man

It spreads grotesquely in the light of the brightest sun

Urging forward the time for murder and creation

 

Rooted deep in the heart of man

The quiet sickness waiting to ravage a small unborn mind

Urging forward the time for murder and creation

Whispers and has us believe death a commodity

 

The quiet sickness waiting to ravage a small unborn mind

Rends flesh to show the bone of the solider is the same as of child, mother, and covetous lord

Whispers and has us believe death a commodity

Tells us work and slaughter make one honored and diseased and free

 

Rends flesh to show the bone of the solider is the same as of child, mother, and covetous

It spreads grotesquely in the light of the brightest sun

Tells us work and slaughter make one honored and diseased and free

When the morning arises and the city blooms a flower

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war, peace and politicsbombdisasterliesnagasakipantoum

treelessmountain

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Comments (1)

QV
<p>I think your decision to use the strict (rhyme scheme, quatrains), yet flexible (the length is unspecified)&nbsp; Pantoum for this topic is very well thought out. The first quatrain caught my attention and compelled my imagination to travel to a desolate scene. &quot;[T]he time for murder and creation&quot; echoes Ecclesiastes (not the most cheerful book to read). Its curious that you use the phrase &quot;blooms a flower&quot; to characterize an atomic aftermath (is it because of the cultural context of a &quot;flower&quot; in the Japanese mind or the roots of a flower). I think there is a mortality in your poem that is hard to escape, both the &quot;flesh&quot; of the dead and the &quot;unborn mind&quot; are defined by what has happened. Without the title, one could try to imagine an apocalyptic scene; however, given that one name, the full outpouring of suffering is present. A lovely poem written in a poetic form that has so many charms. Q.V.</p>

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