Naivety

When we were children, holding hands meant friendship.

Laughing at a boy’s joke meant that we thought it was funny.

Smiling at people meant that we were happy, innocent, and carefree.

Sitting next to a boy, hip to hip, meant absolutely nothing

When did it all change?

And how did I not see it coming?

One month after you were gone, and I was fine.

In other words, numb, nothing could reach me.

I was laughing at a guy’s joke and smiling at him.

I guess they call that flirting now.

And one sunny afternoon, we were sitting on a bench and his leg was pressing against mine.

I thought nothing of it.

Friends, we were friends.

But he started poking me, joking around, laughing, and I returned the gestures.

And then, he touched my hand.

A silent question, a forceful demand.

And I, I did nothing, I sat there, my mind silent, defeated.

All I could think was how he told me earlier he’s just out to get his kicks while he can.

And I’m the next one.

How did I not see him coming? When did everything change?

4/10/14