The Name At The Top Of The Paper Is Weathered, So Changing My Name Is An Option

Becoming fallen, plot my heart On a tattered paper, torn apart And put back together by crappy Scotch tape With a worn out title, date, and name Written at the top in a dream of the life That I dream of every day and each night And I wait for every day to pass To have what people who are happy have This page with a name, barely legible font Of a daydreaming dunce, who's pencil doth flaunt As it flows and dances across a wrinkled page from a book Of which I dare write, never again to look Upon notes of proclamation, and poems written in red The blood I have spilled, the pain in my head Begging to be answered, scratching at my thoughts Until inside my own head I am caught A smile on my face but a scream in my mind Unto myself i have not treated kind Between many things I shouldn't have done My chances that he lived became slim to none But I did despite being a danger to me And come out of the darkness only to see That even though I am in the light I still realize the things that I knew in the night That people are only happy temporarily And that becoming happy would only be contrary Because every time I have found happiness, it leaves Whether I can keep it forever or if irlt retreats It leaves...happiness inevitable impossible But the pain others feel at my hand, I feel responsible That the happiness they can not feel could be me And that it took all this time to see That I can be a problem, a nuisance, an inconvenience Dragging peolle down even if I don't mean it I only haven't done this to one... Sometimes I still feel like I have...no matter what I've done I feel like something I did was wrong Like there wasn't a thing I could say or a song To say how I feel because I can't convey it Sometimes I just don't know how to say it And it's in those times I wish I could kiss you It's killing me thinking of how much I miss you But wait I shall with no hesitation I can try to draw a picture in your imagination Of a kiss, or my hand gracing your skin In the darkness, no...not darkness...light but it's dim Behind a curtain, seconds from exposure at any time But we break the rules anyway, crossing this line But if you are willing I am willing as well To dare to touch your lips, caught by the smell If you in my shirt, as your nails scratch my back But not in pain, but in an attack on my heart As it beats a but faster in response To the feel of your hand, because you is all I want And you I will have...forever I know... So into out future together we go...