Needle in a haystack

Needle in a haystack
I am the needle

Hidden

A sharp needle
And thin
And silver
And hard
Hard to break
But I'm easy to bend
Harder to mend
A scream more like a whisper
Loud enough to pierce through
But not enough to be heard
No response
No love
No acknowledgement
But then I break
I cry
I fear

Anxious

I breathe
And break some more
How do I fix it?
Pain is pleasure but what kind of pain and how much for how long
Why me or her or he
Answers
That's all I need
The truth the real truth
The breakdown
The window behind the curtain
The cake under the frosting
The sheet beneath the covers
My eyes behind the makeup and glasses
The value I don't feel
Lost like a needle in a haystack