Never
For the last time, I felt the hopeless desire for my grandfather to live swell up inside me.
My life, existence, breath, meant nothing. Why wasn’t it me?
I slowly walked forward. The doctors were counting down the heartbeats which my grandfather had remaining.
Only 100 beats were left. If I wanted to talk to him, then this was the last time.
He only had 50 beats left with us. I kept quiet, so that my family would not hear my voice choked with tears.
20 beats. 10 beats. 5 beats.
My thoughts were jumbled in my head like books chaotically strewn across the floor.
There it was now, reaching its shadowy flames out to snatch him away, death.
I summoned all my strength to go to him for one last time.
In the bottom of my soul, I formed my final words.
Words for my grandfather, for my family around me.
Ignoring the tears, the everlasting words flowed out of me: (Mãĩ tumse pyār kartī hū̃)… I love you…
It was the end. I was nothing. The world was losing the greatest, most giving man…
No. 2 beats away from death, he pressed a pure white envelope in my hands that once again gave me hope.
I clutched the envelope. On it was written: “Use this money as you wish.”
Never will I forget that night, the first of many spent thinking of how I could help others as he had.
Never will I forget his deeds, with perpetual impact and lovingness.
Never will I forget my grandfather’s persistent determination to always help those in need.
Never will I forget the choking pain, which left me, forever, with the desire to help others.
Never will I forget the moments, which made me who I am now.
Never will I forget my inspiration, even if I live forever. Never.
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