Never

They say love is using your first name in the poems that I wrote.

I guess it was never love because I could hardly say your name without a hesitation in my voice.

You were always referred to as 'him' when I wrote, the faceless male who painted my skin black and blue with your mouth.

I never felt safe in your arms because when I cried to you about how I felt like a horrible person you never said otherwise.

It wasn't love because I wasn't proud to be with you,it wasn't love when you kissed another girl, it wasn't love with you lied to me again and again.

You touched my soul, penetrated my inner being and drained me of my positive energy taking it all for yourself and leaving me with the bottom of the barrel, scraping by on an ounce of self esteem a day.

It wasn't love because the last time I said it I didn't fucking mean it.