Never Again

I finally opened up

Enough to let you know how I liked you

How much I trusted you

You already knew everything

All of the troubles from my past up to present day

Damn it

I told you how I needed somebody to be there

                                                           Who would just hold me close, look me in the eyes and tell me "it's okay."

That I don't need to do this anymore

You used to be there for me

Every night that I'd wake up in a sweat, scared to death

 You were the one that I'd turn to, to calm me down

I needed you

To save my innocent skin

 From the sharp steel.

I just needed you to be that for me

I tried.

I wanted to be filled with joy

Not Confliction

You already knew how many times you'd been there,

Fixed me

You were; you were like the light at the end of the tunnel

It's the last time I called on you

With fresh stings lining my ribs

Fresh in my mind

When you still managed to

Just walk away from me

Like everyone else

Because you don't understand why

Why, I opened up

My body in twenty new places

Why, I keep doing this to myself

It was a road you had traveled down before

And you just weren't willing to travel it again

So as your light vanished

 I was emersed; in the complete darkness of my mistake

And God willing

    I was filled

With strength

Not of my own accord but that of which I had pleaded and prayed for

Going on months now

As the blood that streamed down my sides

Tears covered my face

Cold as the ice

That my heart had been made up of for so long

And that night

As I cried myself into my nightmares

I decided never again

Would I rely on the Earthly

Knowing

.. I'm gifted

.. I'm saved

.. I'm comforted

By the I Am

I walk for the Almighty

Who dissipates my darkness

And turns it into testimony

Knowing that never again will I have to walk alone.