Never Ending Hell
My heart sinks down to the deepest circle of hell
An icy cold hell
The hell normally spoke of is hot and humid
This would be my paradise
But never the cold
The cold more silent then a fire
Cold consuming and blood rushing
The fire of which I dream is warm with love once past
The fire I need is, as well, long past
Freezing in this hell alone with not even Satan to welcome me
How I got a punishment such as this I cannon conceive
But here now I weep alone so very alone
With no sight of an exit
And no futile plan has yet to brew in my puny mind
Screams high glass shattering screams
Nails on a chalk board more pleasant than the screeching of this hell
The ice shall never melt I shall be eternally frozen
With my thoughts permanently in place
Frozen I Shant be for long
As these horrid thoughts burning down to my very soul
Burning straight through my frozen incasing of snow and rain
The thought of love dead as my limbs
The thought of my love whom I lost in a childish fit of rage
The doleful thoughts of my actions burn not only me and my casing
But also the very frozen hell in which I now live
My life wasn't always as miserable as this
I once had a family
A mother a father and brothers
The very lord of the underworld came and devoured my life
He engulfed my home and with it my family
Throwing me into a suicidal state
My mind slowly deteriorating from the inside to my extremities
Every fiber and molecule of my being haunted by these thoughts
These thoughts that enforced upon me the fault of their deaths
This is not the work of I
Nor has it ever been a wish I had implied upon my family
Now I look up at them though blood stained glass
Trying to think of a way out
A knife sharp enough to cup an opening for me to get through to them
The pain against my body is not’t nearly enough to cope with my internal pain
Cutting cutting not getting any closer to them
Not getting thought to them
I cry out a strong cry for help but they just smile and act naive as if I wasn't speaking of them
They well know all that goes on in my life
And they well know all that they have done to me
They do not regret they have not to fear
My life my love and my family all that I hold dear
GONE
The haunting sound of my families last scream
Their last scream in vain,
hoping that the scream and its power may save them from the fate they well deserve
Self loathing is started in my heart like that of a tumor and moves to my brain
The tumorous thought begins to consume me and all that I believe to be right
I have no light I have no warmth
If no one to share the joys of life with
Why live your life at all
How can your life possibly matter if no one acknowledges it matters
A spec get all the attention in the world
It can be attached to anything it wishes but an important person can only be appreciated by so many
I see not why all people insist on living and if they choose to live how can they want?
God and Satan alike I ask u how?!!
How can people be so selfish as to want more than what they need to survive
I do not want anymore
For I need nothing
I know of my past life as well do others and they do not regret a breath of their lives
I regret every breath I have made
Curses upon the once who made this modern hell and all whom support it
God is a beacon of light in which many love to believe
God is not a person he is a route
And escape route in which many cowards have chosen to take
Satan is a thing that crawls the earth bringing pain to those who believe in him not
What has god given on to us that Satan could not give
No answer should be administered to such a question as this
For life is full of questions in which many questions can never be answered
In this hell the hell of which I name mine
I name it as such because this hell is as someone has found all your weaknesses
And all that you despise and put them into one cold harsh place
Sparrows fly above watching my every move
The eyes of these creatures seem to be looking not only t me but through me to my soul
My heart begins to burn wildly
I let out a vehement scream a scream so lustful It gave passion to the hungry sparrows
They began to fly faster and swarm with more laughter in their beaks and more wind under their wings
I feel my time slowly slipping through the curves of an hour glass
The final grain of sand is beginning to fall
Hell would be decent if dying did not’t come every day
The harshest and most cruel of punishments is reliving torture and reliving your own death
In every waking moment of the next eternity
God is always seen as a saint if he be as much of a saint as people say him to be why should he not be able to defeat or never create the bolls of hell
The sparrows which many call gods pets do his bidding in hell as well as on earth
The sparrows feed on my flesh day after day
Until I felt by body deteriorating
I think to myself “finally the end of this maddening torture”
Then I feel fine and look the same as I was before the tortures of the black night
“damn all who enjoy punishment and damn all those who love suffering’
What can one do to get out of hell?
WHAT I SAY?!!
The very essence of my mind is almost all together gone
Thoughts fill the empty space were logic once occupied
Ice, nothing but solid frozen water stalagmites of ice form all over
Images of suicidal peoples before me throwing their selves onto these
Ice in hell is not clear and sweet with the taste of clean water
No, in this TH circle of hell ice has become red with blood and taste of salt and melancholy
And laughter so much laughter ringing through the caves surrounding me with threatening booms
Dirges constantly playing sharp and welding
Red and black seraphim are flying round with a malice countenance on their faces
It would be beguiling to call these creature seraphim
To my dismay they would be more appropriately called reapers
But being a mixture of both these “things” are here to rip my limbs from my body
And with delight they do so
No pain I feel as I have be dealt the worst
And I know as well as they, that I shall be put back together when their finished
The wind piercing causing my blood to freeze conditions terrible but inspiration non the less
The tempter full of decorum in the place I now reside,
Has set a deal before me
Either I was to agree to torture my family as the evil seraphim have done to me
Or I should agree to feel all the punishments I have to bare though an eternity
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