Never Enough

Beep Beep Beep

Alarm clock I think

reach out to turn it off

can’t move or even breathe

open eyes, way too bright 

Needles in my skin

wonder what they are bringing in

no alarm just heart monitor

mom crying by me

did someone die?

i try to speak 

tube in throat restricting me

but yet I try to breathe

glances over at me yells 

flinch is all I can do

doc remove the tube

internal pleas coming out of me

however so silently

here we go I think as I fall back-

eyes wide open 

brain fuzzy

mom no longer besides me

hello I croak

hello a voice calls

you're safe now

she smiles so kind

sure maybe I reply

tough rough go you've had she explains 

starving girls get that way

food is pumping into me

I undestand as she explains

no more thin body comments

so long boy who dated me for my physique

goodbye gymnastics who caressed the thin so dear

all must welcome the fat back 

but if they come back...

at least I won’t be leaving too