Never Landing

I used to dream fairy tales were my life.
When shadows overcame my little frame and left me breathless
eyes full of fear,
I became Sleeping Beauty awaiting my princes' soft lips.
But the lips I tasted were too bitter sweet.
I close my eyes every now and then when the room starts to spin a little too fast
hold my breathe for who knows how long
and release,
hoping tomorrow has come and left.
But WHY??!? 
God oh why can't I muster up the words my heart so solemnly swears to own?
I take a ride on a strangers soothing lyrics 
and tango with the rhythm of the sax. in the background
hoping notes would dance and speak to me
But I hear nothing.
I turn to the wise but experience slams the door smack dead in my face,
I try to jump out the small cracked window but
perserverance tells me to stop.
I was told doves fly and love falls from the sky
but when I look I become blind.
I hope my reader can understand how confusing this can be,
I'm a little high off life but i'm stuck on E..
How can we fly and soar through it all
without ever landing?