never okay

whats wrong with never being okay

why ask me questions

that i dont know how to answer

i dont know what to say

im not okay, never have been

my feelings have been hurt and 

my pride wounded

i lost my mother when i was five 

youve had yours your whole life

so dont act like we are the same

everything i do is for everyone else

i jump when you call my name

everything ive done is for people 

who believe that i live my life in vain

im a sinner a freak a dork a geek

im fat ugly short and weak

im nothing and never have been

so dont ask me if im okay 

when you dont know what happens

behind closed doors

when i cry myself to sleep

behind the curtains 

where i try to dream

in my pillow

where i muffle my screams

so much sorrow can be disguised by happiness

even when you dont know whats happening

so many times ive drowned in my tears

so many times where ive awoken from nightmares

in a cold sweat, when i feel like i have nothing left

so dont ask me if im okay 

when you already know the answer 

im never okay 

never have been 

im never okay 

never will be 

im never okay...