New

I’ve been avoiding writing about you

because for once in my life

I have too many words

and none of them encapsulate the

being that you are

When I think of you

I think of your smile

and it kills me and I always look away

because it stirs something, aggressively

and it makes me smile too

We live in this place

and I know it’s so hard

to live where the only rainbows we see

are the ones we paint on the inside of our eyelids

and that has to be enough

But you have been the calm

in the midst of all the chaos

you have been the storm

that rages inside my heart

you have been new and scary and beautiful

You are frustrating and confusing

you trace kisses and leave bruises on my neck

but you tease and you stop and you

smile

your fucking perfect smile

I want to breathe new air into your lungs

when you talk about the insecurities you carry

you do not know that you are a fire

and you can engulf the world if you want

but you keep a bucket of water by your side

and you worry, and you give

and you give and you give

and I can’t pick one or two or even ten words

that will describe you well but I will say that you are

relentless in your love

and if I could tell you enough thank yous

for all of your kindness

it would stretch into oceans

and be carried away and would

eventually end up exactly where it started

because you are a force, you are a fire

you are, you are.