New Things

She stood there, like a smile broke down on the side of the road

Decided to make camp for a while.

Roast marshmallows around her car battery heart, in the rain.

It is always raining here.

Rain so hard, she taught herself to dance to the rhythm of it.

Pitter patter of cold rain on warm sidewalks,

And the smell of it, oh God that smell.

And her muddy feet.

And this is how the story goes:

boys with big trucks

And bigger egos

Trying to jump start her heart wrong.

Getting the wires tangled.

And she sees every mistake and says nothing.

Smiles like they are the sun she does not believe in.

Eventually, they find they run out of both answers and questions.

Decide to look for them somewhere else.

still none of them meant any harm.

Muddy feet.

The windshield doesn't mean to squish the bug,

Still the windshield wipers do not make it less dead

Just easier to look at

To look through

And she is very easy to look at

Easier to look through though

They say that's what got her in trouble in the first place

Wet hair muddy feet and open mouth

Open to catch the raindrops and call them nourishment

What is it called when you smile at the headlights about to run you over?

Not because you are star struck by the blindness of it all

But because you can not remember how to scream

Or if you had ever even known in the first place

The smell of windex.

Burns a hole in the nose of everyone who walks passed her

And they relish in the pain of it

What is it called when you are drowning but also thirsty?

You keep swallowing the water and both your lungs and throat scream

You however cannot

Because of course you are underwater and no one can hear you but the fish

But of course the fish can neither speak nor save you

I am a fish

Have you ever been in a place where a building is burning?

And you can feel the heat and see the smoke but everyone is too far away to hear the screams

And you think to yourself that if only you could hear the screams

Then you would save them and yourself

But of course you can not hear the screams

I hear those screams like a house too close to the train tracks

Rattle and shake with the force of them

Earthquake screams

Thunder rumble too close to the lightning screams

Have you ever been swimming in a thunderstorm?

Heard that snap clap boom of warning and in an instant

Weighed the feeling of all of that glorious water against the feeling of lightning crackle.

Muddy feet.

That electricity will make your hair stand on end if you’ll let it

Make your bones shake and splinter

Did you know that when trees are struck by lightning they shatter?

Bark flies off shrapnel in a car bomb

And isn’t it funny?

Funny how we keep thinking we have invented new things

When all we have done is teach them how to hurt

I learned pain like say when

How long can you hold your breath?

How long does the fish flop for?

Did you ever throw it back like you promised?

Did you ever stop pouring the whiskey?

Did you ever look through that glassy abyss of ocean and see her

Really see her