New Year

Today is the first day of January

Today you were willingly let into my home

A place I thought was safe

Today I had to hide in my bathroom

Today I was crying

Today I was hyperventilating

Today I was reliving that night

When I heard you leave

I stayed in the bathroom for ten minutes

Just to make sure

You were really gone

But you'll never truly be gone

Even as I sit here writing

This sorry excuse of a poem

I know you'll never really leave

Not you, not Zero

You'll stay right here 

Tiring me and my mind

Never letting us sleep

Days later, years later

I will remember this day

That day

Like it was yesterday

Today I died again

Of all days

-ally