next ticket to Nowhere, please

my mind chases my feet,
tries to catch up as they shoot forward through the airport
in this rambling race to find a word, a thought, a meaning,
but my lack of thoughts send me 
plummeting backward

i remain trapped, tangled, tortured
in my own thoughts
my swamped, swarmed brain
doesn’t know how to interpret the
emptiness that fills my head

my legs have finally brought me
close enough 
to eye my destination
i long, i hope, i struggle,
in anticipation of my emancipation

the whooshes of departure
pass from one ear through to the other,
the taste of anxiety
like dirt 
on the tip of my tongue

i hunt for words
bound to be found
waiting impatiently
like passengers awaiting takeoff 
but they refuse to call out:
their tranquility—unbearable 

the pilot won’t allow my entrance
my ticket can’t be found;
i’ve lost my way,
the plane is gone
with a fury of writers and words inside

i glare as passing strangers
board the next flight
to Nowhere, and wonder why
i’m stuck
thoughtless, speechless, motionless 
breathless

i wonder why the door has slammed
in my face
how the others can pass through
and get on with their thoughts