Nick's Emissary

1. The Yule has come and so have I, Poised at your doorstep, benumbed with cold, Open up and you will see; That I bear no white beard and I won't howl a ho ho ho, But I just had my teeth flossed, so my smile will be beautiful. You should see it for yourself. 2. Nicholas sent me, he is unwell and has taken to his bed. I made a broth and a fire to keep him warm till I return, Now you must open the door and see; That I don't have a stocking cap on, But I promise you, my hair is silky and beautiful, Alas! You can't see through my crown of snow, so you'll never know. 3. I didn't trudge all the way from the North Pole dragging a bagful of presents, I took a flight out. Please open up and see; That I'm not wearing Nick's frumpy suit, But my green catsuit is lovely, It sets off my hour-glass figure perfectly. 4. I have brought a whip with me, But you don't have to fret, it's for the imps and brats. Open the door and see; That I ditched the Wellingtons for Louboutin stilettos, Even though they're really killing me. I guess it's the price I have to pay for being so gorgeous. 5. I will give out high-fives and warm hugs, When I run out of presents. Won't you open up and see what beautiful gifts I have for you? Though I bought them at the flea market down the street, Things are a lot cheaper there, And it pays to be frugal. 6. Now you must really open the door, I have to hurry and get back home before dusk, My baby needs to suckle, And I need to stoke the fire and make more soup for Nicholas, Most of all, I need to get out of the cold, Or I'll end up worse than Nicky.