The Night Before Mother's Day

Twas the night before Mother's Day, when all through the store

not a creature was stirring, not a squeak in the floor.

The stories were placed on the bookshelf with care,

in hopes that a customer soon would be there.

The employees were nestled all snug in their Keds™,

while visions of going home danced in their heads.

And the manager collecting drawers, and I still at cash,

had just settled our brains to call it a wrap.

When through the door there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my register to see what was the matter.

Away to the counter I flew like a flash,

Ready to assist, and get them out fast.

The light of the chandelier on all tiles in a row,

gave the lustre of midday to events below,

when, what to my tired eyes should occur,

but a teen white boy and eight other followers.

With their tall leader, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment he must be a prick.

More rapid than eagles, down the aisle they came,

and one boy whistled and shouted and called for aid:

"Now Cashier! Now Cashier!

Now, if you'd please listen!

A gift for my mother,

I don't know what she wishes!

To the cookbooks do I go?

To the novels big and small?

Now please help me! Help me!

Help me all!"

Before I have the chance to reply,

Their leader steps forward, looking all sly

Without stopping, he opens his mouth to say,

"So where's Fifty Shades of Grey?"

And then, in a twinkling, I felt from behind

The irritation of my manager not at all resigned

As I waited for him to give a lesson,

All he said was, "In the romance section."

Their leader had on a smirk, from his head to his toes,

and away they left, all filed in rows.

Not a minute later they were already back,

And the other boy brought a gift card ready to pack.

His eyes--how ashamed! His face, how embarrassed!

Just wanted a gift for his mother so cherished!

He asked to put on twenty-five,

but that was not wise.

All his friends began to chatter,

"She's worth more! Do better!"

Their leader had a broad face and an idea in his head,

Shouting "Get Fifty Shades of Grey  instead."

He was laughing and proud, a jolly, snickering elf,

No manager around, I was just by myself.

A wink of his eye and I opened my mouth,

"Religion section's upstairs. Maybe you should check it out."

He spoke not a word, but his friends went to work,

oohing and aahing, while he was a jerk.

And bringing his hand aside of his face,

trying to recover, but it was a waste.

He sprang to his feet, to his team gave a holler,

And away they all fled like the falling of water.

But I had prevailed, and he drove out of sight,

After this, the greatest moment of my life.