the night she died

A spinning head and weak knees

he only wanted the pain to cece 

one pill two drinks maybe three

drown in immobility 

weepy eyes from withdrawals 

never tried to take a pause

calused thumbs from broken flames

missing how he said my name

chapped lips open close to mine

night seems meaningless in time

hands across my virgin waist 

have till death, no time to waste

whispers in his frozen ear

words I know he wants to hear

smiles as I blow a cloud

toxic, why am I so proud?

Skin on skin seems warmest of all

belts come off and jackets fall 

he only wanted to numb the pain

Time and time and time again