The Nightmare Wakens

The nightmare is coming alive 
It was there just above my head waiting 
Now it drops making me trip as I get the note
I read it and shake
My mind races 
I start to feel sick
It is like having your heart stop for three beats then starting slowly
I turn cold 
Everything slows
I am in slow motion the world continues its joyful sound 
I can't breathe 
stopping to try to tell myself it isn't coming true
Slowly I walk the deserted halls as time seems to stop
I feel like I'm falling further with each step
My walls are melting 
They are torn to pieces and everything I have just barely managed to keep out rushes in drowning me in my past
One step two step three step I stumble 
I am so weak I can hardly stand 
My knees constantly threatening to give out and make me bow to the nightmare 
I make it 
Hello says the world again rushing back but finding me numb 
I am silent
How've you been? Life asks and I am afraid to answer for my fantasy may crumble 
It doesn't it stays held firmly in place 
all I can do is weep as I walk numbly down the hall back to life
In a trance I walk back to life and its normalcy 
Nothing is normal
My walls have not yet been rebuilt 
I am too vulnerable to be left for the onslaught of its raw joy
My knees give for a moment reminding me of my tears 
I wipe them away scrambling for the bricks I had in place but they are lost
I regain stability and open the door to life 
It's joyous merriment hits me like a fist making me stumble
I sit down in the middle of it
Numb tears come and I wipe them away again and again
My walls have collapsed but one single brick is found and I close my eyes readying myself for the rebuilding of the walls