Nightthoughts

I do not cherish the time Between head hitting pillow And peach-colored sunrise, When thoughts go rampant Lay siege to my sanity And leave me to find Refuge in tears Scarring skin Or retreat in other forms In fantasy worlds Of paper and words Or those of technological origin. No, this time is not anticipated But rather, dreaded. Escape from destructive thought In a desolate frame of mind Hinders sleep, that true peace Which is already so hard to come by But now is further postponed Through colorful distractions, Distractions for the conscious So it shall postpone its nightly assault If only for an hour longer. No true remedy have I yet found No way to stop this elaborate torture Which slowly unravels cohesive thought And ruins reason and logic And allows one to do such things as Lay an edge to flesh in vain hope that Such ache shall drain distress Or else draw the conscious' attention From its deliberate onslaught. Memories Wonderful when first recorded Now more painful than mountain's fire And deadlier still than any weapon Cycle unendingly through And desperate tears that beg for mercy get none. Would I have the choice of a torture more physical At the hands of infamous interrogators Who strive to break a person through pain Or this psychological assailment That twists loves and hates so they may not be distinguished And in the early hours of dawn leaves me tangled in bedsheets Damp pillow testifying to silent sobbing Mind failing to grasp even the simplest of concepts And welted arms explaining something more, I would surely choose Without delay The former, for I have no doubt That I could more easily stand Methodical burns Or patient drowning Than this thing that pushes me to insanity and back Repetitive cycle And allows little time for recuperation.