On Nine Eleven

I am ineloquent.

My mind is a ball of yarn the cat has played with- it's tangled and mangled. Distorted.

I pull the string from my mouth, but I sometimes reach knots.

I am ineloquent - but only in a sense

"words" are inadequate for so many things. 

 

One, particulary. 

 

you see,

there is a pain beyond that of tears and even weeping.

it is silencing.

it is somplete

it is indescribable

your spine rots within you

the mast of your vessel...fallen 

"I am the captain of my ship."

the mighty cedar of lebanon has been dethroned

I am no longer anyone.

You shrink...shrivel, concave....supernova

Darkness ebbs and flows throughout you mind. Reigns Freely.

All fliskers of hope-consumed. Extinguished.

Black threads of agony stich together your lips. silenced.

Light? Impossible.

Fear abounds-consumes, lusts for your very soul

It cripples, corrodes, corrupts...eradicates

It's the Law of Nature: en-tro-py

Nothing can get better, prevail, persist, perservere

                Disentigration- the ultimate truth

 

Life. is SUCH a risk.

     Courage? Impossible.

 

A Law of Nature. 

 

                                    Gravity: noun;law of nature

dictates that everything fallen remains fallen. that everything is drawn inwards.

The planet looks to itself for answers, drawing everything in, attempting to find a comfort within its own crust

trying to recede within herself, Terra reflects her inhabitant's pursuits

Seeking Light in Darkness. 

But if I fin in myself a desire which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical conclusion is that

I was made for another world

 

The Law of Gravity. 

Except...EXCEPT-it is only a LAW because it has yet to be broken. 

Any prison is impenetrable until the convict escapes!

A young girl by the name of Anne, a girl plagued by fear and darkness said 

"Look at how a single candle can both defy and define darkness."

DID YOU HEAR ME

"LOOK AT HOW A SINGLE CANDLE CAN BOTH  DEFY AND DEFINE DARKNESS."

Anne was slaughtered by nazis soon after writing this.

But you know what else she said? 

"In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."

Darkness feel utter, somplete, omnipresent.

but it is a lie

Light may feel like the fabled seamripper that woudst tear the silencing blask stiches from your lips

Except...Except...

LIGHT IS NOT A DREAM WITH NO HOPE

IT IS NOT A VAPOR-APPARANT THEN GONE

IT IS NOT SMOKE FROM A LOST EXTINGUISHED CANDLE

IT IS NOT A PHANTOM THAT ONLY FOOLS BELIEVE IN

IT IS A REALITY MORE REAL THAN THE AIR YOU BREATHE

 

WE ARE NEVER WITHOUT HOPE

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741