Nineteen Years Old

I’ve done a lot of things in life

Things I’m not at all proud of

I’ve had dark thoughts run through my mind

I’ve acted on these thoughts several times

I’ve marked up my body

Told my story through a knife

I’ve deprived my body of food

Even when I needed it most

I’ve taken one too many pills

In an attempt to escape everything

I’ve lived through some horrifying experiences

A man’s unwanted touch

A broken family that was never whole

Countless heart breaks

Rumors that I was the center of

All of this has led up to now

And who I am today

I am nineteen years old

With a past that I never want to think about

A past that still gives me nightmares

I am nineteen years old

With a fear that it never gets better

I am nineteen years old

And ready to die