Ninja Sister

You and i used to climb fences

We climbed

And i remember being the chicken

To scared to actually climb

Youd lift me up

Catch me if i fell

But obviously give me shit  for being a chicken

And you could take one hop and it seemed youd already be over

Swiftly and silently

I always thought of you as a ninja sister

The kind

That would play ninjas with me in home depot

We’d fight with the wooden blocks

Slide through the aisles

Protece us from anything

The kind of sister

That could climb walls silently

So when i asked you about the cuts on your hand

You said it was from climbing a fensce

But not to tell mom

And i was so angry

You didn’t invite me to scale the fence withyou

That mustve been a killer ninja fence

And you mustve chosen a new best friend to climb it with you

Perhhaps you were getting older

And realizing how much younger i was getting

The cuts were a permanent tatoo

On your hand

After a while i didnt understand

Why you were being short

Why you weren’t give me shit anymore for being a chicken

Yet i didnt tell a soul

About it

Nor father’s voice screaming at you all of the time

I saw cirlces under your eyes

Cuts never fading

Whatever fence you climbed

You were climbing alone

Only with an extremely loud invisible friend named depression

I knew soon on it wasnt a fence

You were trying to climb a mountain

But the only way to keep breathing on everest

Was to stick a knife in your hands

Sister i know the baggage you carry is heavy

Heavier than my body

Heavier than yours

Let me carry some

Half maybe more

Sister i cannot lose you

You are the ninja sister

You made the bullies hush their mouths with your skills

You protected me and our baby sister from the monster in our lives

You were a secret rock for our family

You would never claim that

But i know you helped keep me together

When i was breaking my heart from the outside in

Sister i love you

Ill say it

Over and over again

Until it echoes in your mind

I hope you don’t feel like you have to fight alone

I am right next to you

You and i used to climb fences

You would catch me when i fell

Sister let me catch you

Because next time

I will not turn my head

Not be naiive

Not even be a chicken

I will never forgive myself

For being a sister who couldnt carry your wait

For being a sister who didnt warn you about our father

For being a sister who chose to be a chicken rather than a ninja

But you can trust me next time

Next time i will wear the black garments

Have the sword

Be swiftful

And brave for you

Ninja sister

Next time i will catch you

Help mend you

And fight for you

The way you have always for me

TS.